Doctors, Doctors, and more Doctors. I am exhausted and it’s Tuesday.
Every day is PT again…
I find the fun but it’s a tough hill to climb.
PT is to keep my heart strong so I can qualify for the next heart surgery and core strengthening.
Thursday has two procedures and two doctors on Friday.
People want to know what chronically ill people do? We see doctors and have procedures and go to PT. Oh, and give blood, lots of blood.
These are just a few of my bruises.
It’s overwhelming, exhausting, all consuming, and never ending.
And at the same time we are parents, spouses, siblings, some of us work, try to have social lives, spiritual lives.
We do all this never knowing when the rug will next be pulled out from us. Monday I passed out due to low blood pressure and sugar and dehydration and my seven year old called 911.
My SEVEN year old.
This is my life. I have an autoimmune disease, a bad heart and blood clots in my lungs.
They keep telling me it will get better in lower altitude. That the moist air will help. That the next surgery will fix things.
My mood, however, is tempered. I have heard this before. The previous open heart surgery was going to ‘fix’ me. Instead it flared an autoimmune cycle and I got two clots in my lungs.
I need just six months where NOTHING medically exciting happens.
So, this is my face. As I do as I’m told and see all these doctors
I want to write. I want to go for a walk. I want to take a nap. Instead I sit and meet more doctors. Today was two Lupus docs. Tomorrow is my hematologist and Thursday I get injections and get to swallow more barium. Friday is two doctors.
And I was ready for bed by 19:30 yawn.